From the Rewritten Princess

I Wanna Be a Writer

2009-08-09T20:43:00.004-04:00

I have always liked to write ~ for as long as I can remember. I wish I had kept some of my writing from high school. It would be fun to see how it has changed over the years. Anyhow, I write poetry and short stories, mostly just for fun or for friends. But I have always wanted to write a novel. Sound silly? And the older I get, the stronger the desire. I can't afford to take classes or anything. But, I recently found a whole year's worth of "The Writer" Magazine. It is FULL of information and writing exercises. It is a fascinating magazine. So, I have finally started working on my first novel, using some of the tips and lessons from the magazine. I also started 2 new blogs. The second one is linked to the first one. Just something I decided to try for fun. I don't know if I'll ever get anywhere with it, but it feels good. Another thing I have always enjoyed is learning new things. And I certainly have lots to learn about writing. So you should check it out. Click here to go to the first site. There is a link on that site to get to the second one if you have any interest.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2009-08-08T08:43:00.004-04:00

Wow! It has really been a while since I've written anything here! Where did the time go?

Well, as you can imagine, I'm sure, life can be hectic, chaotic, full of pain, full of laughter, full of stress, full of peace, lonely, full of friends, etc., etc. Sometimes one season follows another, sometimes it seems like several different seasons at once. Such is life on this planet.

So, many things have been going on. You should see my granddaughter now! She is 14 months old and more amazing everyday. She is definitely a delight to behold. I could go on and on, but I'm probably the only one who would really enjoy that, so I won't.

Oh, and I started a new blog. You gotta check it out! I love to read, and I love to write (all kinds of writing), and I think this new blog could be a blast. Go to http://progressivenovels.blogspot.com. I can't wait to see where this goes (assuming others get involved and find it as intriguing and fun as me...)

I have to run for now, but I promise I'll be back.

Nadya Suleman and Her Octuplets

2009-02-12T10:24:00.005-05:00

Wow! Fourteen children. I don't know this woman or very much about her, but she must have a heart the size of Texas. Have you listened to any of her interviews on TV? She is very articulate, intelligent, educated. She is actually going for her Masters Degree in counseling! She is no "idiot" as many have called her, she deserves NO death threats, as apparently many have made toward her. Do we wonder why she would make such a decision? Yes. But do we ~ any of us ~ have a right to attack her for her decision, threaten to take her kids away and adopt them out, or belittle her for her way of life? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!

How can ANY one of us complain that she has used disability payments (which she rightly received, not by manipulating any "system") to help pay for raising her children?! How can we say the budget deficit is already too large and therefore she deserves no public assistance (which she hates receiving and has a plan to stop as soon as possible)? How can we be FOR the so-called "stimulus package" of President Obama and yet complain AT ALL about any budget deficit, or about burdens on the taxpayers? You have GOT to be kidding.

"Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is struggling to close a $42 billion budget gap by cutting services, declined through a spokesman to comment on the taxpayer costs associated with the octuplets' delivery and care. State Sen. Sam Aanestad, R-Grass Valley, an oral surgeon who sits on the Health Committee, said that once a state Medical Board investigation is complete, lawmakers could review issues from government oversight to standards in fertility treatment." Just how many freedoms are we Americans willing to give away anyway?!!! My outrage is NOT toward Nadya, but toward those citizens who are so heartless, and those government officials who would use this as an excuse to take away more of our rapidly eroding personal freedoms.

"It's my opinion that a woman's right to reproduce should be limited to a number which the parents can pay for," Charles Murray wrote in a letter to the Los Angeles Daily News. "Why should my wife and I, as taxpayers, pay child support for 14 Suleman kids?"

"Why should my wife and I, as taxpayers, pay child support for 14 Suleman kids?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Those of us who consider abortion to be murder are yet required AS TAXPAYERS to fund abortions for any and every reason ~ worldwide!!! There are so many things our tax dollars are paying for that we SHOULD be outraged about, and yet we are, for the most part, strangely silent.

And all those who have sent DEATH THREATS to this family actually believe there is less wrong with THAT than there is with having a large family!!!

Would I have made the same decisions Nadya has made? No! But should she have the freedom to choose the size of her family? YES! How many single mothers continue having children out of simply irresponsible choices (too inconvenient to use a condom but oh well, I'm on welfare anyway and always will be, so no big deal)? This is not what Nadya has done. She CHOSE to have a large family. She has a PLAN to improve her life circumstances and NOT BE DEPENDENT on welfare long-term.

She was also berated on talk radio, where listeners accused her of manipulating the system and being an irresponsible mother. "From the outside you can tell that this woman was playing the system," host Bryan Suits said on the "Kennedy and Suits" show on KFI-AM. "You're damn right the state should step in and seize the kids and adopt them out." Berated on talk radio? What kind of people have we become? And "you can tell that this woman was playing the system." How can you tell that? Because I can't tell that. "The state should step in and seize the kids"? Let me ask you, should the state step in and seize kids every time the parents make choices the state doesn't like ~ or you don't like? Because that would certainly make me feel safer in my home. If I insist my kids attend church, should the state step in and "seize them"? If I insist my kids speak respectfully to me and other adults, should the state step in and "seize them"? If I insist my kids do chores around the house and don't pay them minimum wage, should the state step in and "seize them"? If I choose to home school my children, and as a result they score better on every academic test known to man than public school children their age, should the state step in and "seize them"?

Do we think anything through to its logical conclusion anymore here in America? This so-called "stimulus package", or "national healthcare", are 2 things that can ONLY BANKRUPT this country, if you think things through to their logical conclusion. But that doesn't seem to be very popular these days. I want what I want TODAY ~ to hell with tomorrow, to hell with logic, to hell with freedom. Give me, give me, give me. America has become the spoiled brat in the Willie Wonka movie ~ I want it! Give it to me NOW! I don't care! I want it!

Wake up America. Open your eyes and see where your selfishness and greed are taking you and your grandchildren and your great-grandchildren. Work hard and pull YOURSELF up. Stimulate YOUR OWN family economy with delayed gratification, putting even very small amounts into savings, being creative entrepreneurs, helping each other, getting out of debt and staying out of debt... Stop asking and expecting the government to take care of you. That isn't America. There is not ONE SINGLE country in the entire world where socialism has worked, or where national healthcare has worked. Not one. Do your homework. America has always been unique and it has always worked, and because it worked so well, we were able to help other countries and peoples. Now we are becoming more like the other failed countries, and there is no one to help anyone.

It isn't too late... yet... But it is getting close to it. Start by changing your own attitudes, and by voting for people who can help AMERICA for tomorrow, not just you and not just for today.

I hope you will tell me your opinions. And I hope they are not laced with "death threats" because we may disagree. I have been articulate and rational, though passionate. Please do me the same favor.

Paula

2009-01-12T10:14:00.002-05:00

I have been reading about the Paula Goodspeed suicide. You know, the one who auditioned on American Idol and was turned away. Goodspeed had been diagnosed with mental illness before she auditioned on the show. Apparently she had already been stalking Paula Abdul, had legally changed her first name from Sandra to Paula, had a personalized license place that referenced Paula Abdul, had Abdul's picture hanging from her rearview mirror, and tried to dress like her and imitate her style. I read that she had been sending disturbing letters and notes to Paula Abdul for almost 18 years before she ever auditioned on Idol. I also read that Paula Abdul, who begged the show's producers not to allow the audition, was shaking and terrified during the audition. And now Goodspeed's family wants to blame her suicide on Simon Cowell's rudeness during the show. Amazing. I am sorry for the tragic death of Paula Goodspeed. But it seems to me she was a ticking time-bomb that could have been triggered by anything. I didn't even think Simon's remarks were all that rude ~ he simply questioned how any performer could sing with "so much metal in her mouth." (Goodspeed wore braces.) If you listen to her interview before the audition, she could barely speak clearly, leaving you wondering how her singing would be. And it wasn't at all good. And as far as criticizing Simon Cowell for his "rudeness": a) the show is extremely popular not only to viewers but to aspiring singers, with Simon being the way Simon is; b) those who have seen the show and know themselves to be "sensitive" to criticism should avoid auditioning in the first place (I know I'm too sensitive to ever give it a try, and so I don't); c) I didn't think Simon's comments were that harsh ~ he could have been saying that without the braces she might have a chance so try again at a later date; and d)as I said before, she was already so troubled that if she hadn't been set off by the show it would have been something else. I pray for her family, I pray for Paula Abdul who I believe is also suffering in all of this, but I do not believe Simon or anyone else is to blame. Please, please, please let's stop always trying to blame someone when something happens. Life happens, life owes us NOTHING, life can be hard, and it can be tragic (believe me, I know), but life is what it is, and no one "deserves" better, or "deserves" a break, or "deserves" to have it easier ~ life just is what it is on this earth. If we want more inner peace as we experience life as it is, there is only one source for that kind of peace, and it isn't having more money, or suing someone for more money, or gaining fame through whatever means so you can get more money ~ seriously, it is ONLY possible with a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as your savior. The peace He gives comes from Himself, who loves you and never changes, and His peace is dependent ONLY on Him and not on your outward circumstances. And what He gives He gives because of His great love, NOT because any of us "deserve" it. My heart breaks for those who experience tragedy, such as the family of Paula Goodspeed, and I will continue to pray for them as they have to face each day without the one they love. But I do hope they will stop trying to find someone to blame. It won't help them deal with their loss.

An Un-Christian America

2008-12-18T09:02:00.005-05:00

Hello readers. Sorry I have been away so LONG. Wow... Between family stuff, getting ready for the holidays, and the flu ~ well, I haven't even been checking my e-mail regularly, let alone doing blog-stuff. And it might continue to be sparse till after the new year.

There have been a number of things on my mind of late that I would have loved to expound on here if I had been able to sit down and take the time... But most of those thoughts have passed on to be replaced by new ones, so who knows whether I will ever put those others in type. But today I read an article that has my mind a-goin' in yet another direction.

Being a Christian myself, there is much that I have taken for granted about America, believing that America will always be America, even though I could sadly see the decline of Christian foundations and principles and the increase of anti-Christian sentiment. I knew that America was originally founded on Christian principles and that our "triune" government was set up to emulate the triune God, but I never really thought through how inseparably intertwined "America" is with those biblical principles. No. America will NOT always be America if we continue in the current direction.

When Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence that "all men are created equal," and that this was "self-evident," what did he really mean? Slavery and social hierarchy were extremely obvious and prevalent at the time. What he meant was the equal VALUE of each human life. Not equal rights, equal finances, equal opportunities, equal intelligence... Equal individual value. This is rooted in Christianity. God Himself sees all of us individually as equally worthy of salvation, equally worthy of the shedding of His son's blood. Today, uniquely in the world and in history, Americans have representative democracy, with full citizenship extended to each individual.

In world history we see that some cultures left weak children to die, infanticide was common (still today in many parts of the world), those who wanted sons had no hesitation about killing newborn daughters, humans were even murdered or mauled by animals for entertainment. Christianity contributed to their demise.

Women have traditionally held very low status throughout the history of the world, including Jewish and Muslim societies, and still today in many cultures. Jesus broke the traditional taboos of His time allowing women to travel with Him and be part of His circle of friends and confidantes. Christianity helped to elevate the status of women in society. Christianity introduced the idea that adultery is equally serious for both the man AND the woman, and treated both men and women equally in the rules of divorce

Politically active Christians were at the forefront of the anti-slavery movement. (Watch the movie Amazing Grace about William Wilberforce.) In America, the Quakers were among the first to embrace abolitionism, soon followed by other Christians who believed the biblical notion that human beings are equal in the eyes of God ~ promoting the view that no man has the right to rule another man without his consent. This idea is the moral root of both abolitionism and of democracy.

The greatest events in American history were preceded by massive Christian revivals. The "First Great Awakening" swept the country in the mid-eighteenth century, laying the moral foundation of the American Revolution. Historian Paul Johnson describes the War for Independence as "inconceivable...without this religious background." The revival provided essential support for the ideas that fueled the Revolution. John Adams wrote: "What do we mean by the American Revolution? The war? That was no part of the Revolution; it was only an effect and consequence of it. The Revolution was in the minds of the people...a change in their religious sentiments."

The "Second Great Awakening," which began in the early nineteenth century, fostered the temperance movement, women's suffrage, and the abolitionist movement.

In the twentieth century, Rev. Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech referred back to the Declaration of 1776, a proclamation issued 200 years earlier by a Southern slave owner. Both M.L.K and T. Jefferson reflected the influence of Christianity in American politics.

The modern idea of freedom that we hold so dear is rooted in a respect for the individual. The right to express our opinion, choose a career, buy and sell property, travel where we want, live our own life. We are responsible only to respect the rights of others.

Friedrich Nietzsche, a German philosopher and one of Western civilization's greatest atheists, warns that the ideas that define Western civilization and its freedoms are based on Christianity. He says that because some of these ideas seem to have taken on a life of their own, we might have the illusion that we can abandon Christianity and still retain them. This illusion, he warns, is just an illusion. Remove Christianity and the ideas fall too. Look at the examples of any other culture where this has taken place. Look at Europe where secularization has been occurring for well over a century. Increasingly today there is evidence of the decline of the nuclear family; overall birthrates have plummeted while rates of divorce and out-of-wedlock births are up.

Nietzsche also warned that, with the decline of Christianity new and opposing ideas would rise. Do we see this today in the demands for the radical redefinition of the family and arguments for infanticide? The decline of Christianity would also mean the gradual extinction of the principles of human dignity.

If we cherish what is distinctive about Western civilization, whatever our religious convictions, we should respect rather than denigrate its Christian roots. We should respect rather than denigrate Christianity.

I love America. With the good and the bad, her ups and downs, I love America. I fear for her, though. Without a change of her current direction, I fear that the America we have always known is about to become something else. A victim of selfish disrespect for: the rights of others, the value and dignity of human life, the freedoms of religion and speech, the right of the individual to work hard and attain financial success, the right of the individual to choose NOT to work hard and that same person's right to suffer the realistic consequences of their decisions, the right of free enterprise, the right of personal responsibility and growth, the right of differing opinions... I pray that America will stand, by God's grace, and be America. Apparently what we need is another great, massive revival. Glory to God.

These are my thoughts and opinions. I welcome your input. For now, we still have the right to agree or disagree. Let me know what you think.

Really Excited!

2008-11-21T13:03:00.002-05:00

I have to say it again, because I am feeling so excited today, and I can't keep it to myself. I have truly found the best business to be in. The more I become familiar with the company and the people, the more absolutely impressed I am. A debt-free company, founded by Christians, run by Christian ethics and principles, a GREAT training system that will serve you well no matter what line of work or business you choose to involve yourself with (better than a masters program in business or business management), a very aggressive compensation plan, and a team approach that means they are helping you succeed, as a team. Those who designed this business system have many patents and awards in other fields, have written best-selling books, and have designed this system based on their experience in multiple areas including network marketing. They took the best of all they had learned, dropped all the less desirable components, tweaked it all with their varied knowledge and genius ideas and ~ TADA! You won't find a better business to be involved with. EVERYONE needs to learn more about MonaVie. Read Paul Zane Pilzer's book The Next Millionaire; read Robert Kiyosaki's book The Cash-Flow Quadrant. Fascinating information about the current trends in economics and business. Check out this video, and this one, and then check out my personal business website. There is absolutely no downside, guaranteed. Okay ~ I'll stop. But seriously ~ do yourself a favor and do the research. You are in for a big surprise. As they say, "You don't know what you don't know."

And a Very Merry Tossmas to you!

2008-11-19T14:54:00.008-05:00

You have to watch this video. It is very clever and very creative ~ two things I love. If you are not a Christian you may find this video offensive, and I apologize, in that I don't like to offend anyone. But, I guess for me, I can't figure out why even non-Christians want to change the name of the holiday. People have been celebrating Christmas for many a year without the slightest acknowledgment of Christ or his birthday. And I don't think they found it offensive ~ because "Christmas" is what the holiday is, however you decide to celebrate it. But I must say that I find it offensive when they change the name of the holiday to something else ~ keep the holiday but change its name ~ because they don't believe in Christ and/or don't want to offend those who don't believe in Christ. Why are they not concerned about offending those who DO. Anyhow, I like the video. Watch and enjoy, if you dare.
(Okay... I couldn't get the code for embedding it here to work for some reason so click here to watch the video.)

Lingering Impact

2008-11-17T17:19:00.003-05:00

We are still paying the price for hitting that Michigan Deer. Still working with the insurance company. Still have only one vehicle. I am having to drive my husband to work every morning and pick him up every evening ~ 30 miles from home. Sure cuts a chunk out of the day, not to mention out of the checkbook. I'm sure it will all be over soon and we will have the insurance $$ to try to find another dependable used car. We have had some doozies (sp?) in the past. Anyhow, some time this week, hopefully, we will be able to resolve this and have that second car. I have to run now ~ gotta go get my husband from work. Have a terrific evening everyone. And watch out for those deer!

Psalm 23

2008-11-14T15:42:00.004-05:00

The 23rd Psalm... Is there anyone (Christian that is) who hasn't memorized this chapter of the Psalms? I love this chapter in every Bible version (at least those versions I have read ~ there may be versions out there that I haven't read, but I have no reason to think I WOULDN'T love them, too). Well, I came across a video that is too precious for words. You just have to see it. Here it is. (It might take a few seconds to load, but it is worth the wait.)

Beautiful Day!!!

2008-11-13T14:29:00.003-05:00

OMGosh! The weather today in Michigan is so incredible! The sun is shining and I bet it is in the 60s. It was snowing 2 days ago! I hear birds singing through my open windows, and I love the smell of the sun on the fall leaves. Just a gorgeous day. I hope the weather is as amazing wherever you are. I think I am going to shut up and go outside with my granddaughter and enjoy it. Bye for now!

Big Family

2008-11-12T11:17:00.003-05:00

I am so grateful for the family of God. I love that we can pray for each other, comfort each other, care for each other ~ even though we may have very different opinions and ideas. I feel I can be open and honest with my brothers and sisters in Christ ~ no masks, no hiding. It is a beautiful thing. And when we do hurt each other ~ and I think that is inevitible ~ we can talk things through and forgive each other and usually end up with a stronger bond than ever.

And you know what is an even greater blessing? When someone you love in your earthly family is also part of your Christian family ~ it is like a double blessing. Sometimes in our earthly families the only thing we have in common is blood. Unlike "friends" whom you get to choose and with whom you may have LOTS in common. So many times I think earthly family members get hurt or frustrated and decide to walk away. Maybe you don't speak to your brother for years, or never call your mom... But when you add the extra dimension of having Christ in common, that usually seems to change the outcome. With Christ in the midst of the situation, both parties are usually more open to talking things through, working it out, forgiving each other, even agreeing to disagree on some things. And the bond of the "double family" is deeper than ever.

I love being a child of God. I love being part of a huge family. And I love that some of my earthly family have become my double family. I pray that my double family will grow in numbers. What a tremendous blessing.

Like a Child

2008-11-10T10:21:00.006-05:00

Look at this beautiful, innocent child (my lovely granddaughter, picture taken this morning). She hasn't really a care in the world. She trusts completely, she is content, she fully believes that the one who is in charge of taking care of her and protecting her and supplying her needs... will. Haylie (just over 5 months old) has been teaching me so many things. But one of the biggest lessons is trust. What it looks like NOT to be the one in control, and be okay with that, and just peacefully trust. Is this what it means to come to God like little children? These days, God speaks to my heart most clearly and most loudly through little Haylie. And I never expected that. I expected a lot of things ~ joy, triggers, heartache, laughter, good and bad memories from the past, worry, tears, love ~ but I never expected that Haylie would be my teacher. Everyday that I am privileged to babysit, Haylie speaks to me of God again and again. Here I am Lord. I'm listening. Show me more and more of yourself. And watch over this precious gift we call Haylie, and bless her great big. Thank you, Lord, for her life. You have blessed us all with this precious little one.

Because of His amazing grace,

Rewritten Princess

We Hit Our First Michigan DEER!

2008-11-08T09:53:00.003-05:00

Can you believe it?! We have lived in Michigan now for 20 years and never hit a single deer. Our neighbors have hit deer, co-workers have hit deer, the boys' teachers have hit deer ~ but we never hit a single one. We have come close many times. We always live in the country and deer are quite plentiful. We even see them in our yard sometimes. We see them crossing our road in herds so large you can't count them. Especially this time of year we very often see them standing at the side of the highway or crossing the freeway, or quite frequently taking very, very long naps on the shoulder or in the median laying in what looks like very uncomfortable positions (cough, cough), but in 20 years we never hit one. Till now.

Sometimes you don't see them crossing the road ~ sometimes they just materialize like a spirit right in front of your car. RIGHT in front of your car. How they got there you have no idea, but what happens next is pretty ugly. I was not in the car when it happened. I was at home with dinner on the table watching the clock and wondering why it was taking my husband and son so long to get home from work. Then the phone rang...

I will spare you the gruesome details except to say ~ man, deer meat is very tasty! Not tasty enough, however, to make us feel better about the damage to our favorite car. The car we used to enjoy driving ~ smooth ride, great gas mileage, no mechanical issues, low miles, low car payment, bought used and carried a higher value than what we owed. THAT car. Not the car we have paid off that has just shy of 200,000 miles on it and gets only 17 mpg. Soooooo... the insurance company totaled the car. I mean, it was just one deer, for crying out loud. But those deer are pretty solid creatures. So, today, we go car shopping and exploring our options. And life goes on... Thankfully!

I DID IT!

2008-11-07T10:41:00.005-05:00

Well, it is finished. I finished my very first knitted garment ~ the sweater for my beautiful granddaughter. Here is a picture of her wearing it this morning.

And here is a picture of her doing with it what SHE thinks I made it for ~ to chew. She really seems to like it a LOT.

However ~ alas, it is BARELY big enough. It will probably only fit her a week or two instead of all winter. So ~ back to those knitting needles. I am thinking maybe slightly bigger needles will do the trick. I hope...

(As I type, Haylie is sitting next to me "talking" up a storm. I think she will be very opinionated, like her grandmother...)

I love learning!

2008-11-06T08:55:00.003-05:00

I love learning new things! Don't you? All kinds of new things. I love "book learning" ~ reading new books, whether it be history or autobiographies or even a good novel (you can learn a lot from a good novel). I love learning new skills, whether it be a new craft like knitting, or learning to build something, or new leadership skills, or new people skills, etc., etc. I just LOVE learning. It's like I'm hungry for learning. And there are so many things out there to learn ~ you never run out. Am I strange, or is everyone like that?

Anyway, I have recently been learning to knit. Actually I sort of learned as a child (took one class at 4-H and then it was cancelled), and have done a tiny bit of dabbling since then on basic things like square potholders or straight scarves. But NOW ~ I'm knitting a sweater for my

granddaughter! And it is SO much fun! I love seeing something new take shape. The sweater is actually almost done and it is really cute and even looks like it will fit! I can't wait to finish it and try it on her.

All that to say... I LOVE LEARNING!

Here are current pictures of the sweater... I'm so excited!

The Results Are In

2008-11-05T07:19:00.004-05:00

Well ~ election day is over and we have a new president-elect. Wow! The intensity of this election is like nothing I remember for previous ones. I'm glad it is over. Passions were/are high, I heard we had record voter turn-out, and the process we believe in worked. But our responsibilities for this election are not complete. A couple of things spring immediately to mind.

1. Phil. 4:8 "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable ~ if anything is excellent or praiseworthy ~ think about such things."

2. Our nation and this new administration need our prayers ~ now more than ever.

Our God is still on the throne. Read Daniel chapter 4. God has a plan. It is He who sets up kings and takes them down ~ for His own purposes, which we can't fully know or understand, because His ways are sooooooo high above our ways.

Daniel 4:3 says, "How great are his signs, how mighty his wonders! His kingdom is an eternal kingdom; his dominion endures from generation to generation."

Daniel 4:17b says, "The Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and He gives them to anyone he wishes and sets over them the lowliest of men."

As far as God is concerned, nothing has changed. He has a plan. And nothing takes Him by surprise ~ He knows the end from the beginning. His purposes will be served. No election of man can ever change that truth. I pray we all can rest in the eternal truths of God's word, and remember Phil. 4:8. No matter what changes we see taking place all around us, remember that God's word is true, and He never changes, never slumbers, never makes mistakes, never lies, and never leaves us.

Praise be to the Name of the LORD!

By God's oh-so-amazing grace,

The Rewritten Princess

Go to this website to join thousands of others (including myself) for 77 days of prayer for the new administration which will be sworn in 77 days from now.

Vote on Nov 4

2008-11-03T16:33:00.005-05:00

I wish everyone would vote. I believe it is a right, a privilege, and an obligation. I was surprised to hear my 21 year old say recently that he didn't think he was going to vote. I absolutely can't understand this mindset. I am very passionate about voting ~ about being informed and having an opinion and casting a vote. He said he feels he doesn't have enough information to vote in good conscience. WHAT?! Okay ~ if voting is important (and it is) it should not be viewed as being optional. And if voting is not optional, then you have to take the time to become informed. I do agree you should not vote without knowing who or what to vote for ~ it shouldn't be like a pop quiz where the answers don't really matter. There are many, many ways to become informed, and it's not that difficult. And it's not like the election comes up unexpectedly ~ we have plenty of warning and plenty of time to prepare ourselves. One way to become informed is to check out the non-partisan voters' guides put out by focusvoter.com. They get the voting records of the candidates, they find out what organizations support each candidate, they get the actual wording of the proposals, they ask ALL the candidates the same questions and post their answers, and they put it all out there in one convenient location so it is quick and easy to learn a great deal. It is true there are no perfect candidates, but there are not perfect voters either. We just need to take it seriously enough to get involved and to vote.

My husband pointed out to me the other day that in Michigan, where we have the worst economy of the whole nation, and where our economy was a disaster long before the nation's economy took a down-turn, many people blame it all on Bush and the Republicans; and yet, we have Democratic Governor Granholm, Democrat Carl Levin, Democrat Debbie Stabenow ~ all career politicians in office here for many a year. Why are they not held responsible? And as for the nation, we have had a Democrat-controlled congress for how long? And apart from making excuses and blaming everything on Bush, what else have they done? But... those who have not taken the time to be informed are susceptible to being led around and manipulated by the liberal, "Democrat" media who certainly are not informing people of the truth about our candidates, our proposals, our economic condition and its causes, or our future. And we blame those the media says to blame, and we re-elect the ones who are actually responsible.

Be informed, vote, and then, no matter the outcome of the election, remember that God is not up for re-election. He can't be voted out. He always has been on the throne, and He always will be. And His ways are perfect, His word is true, He is just and faithful and merciful and eternal. Kings and kingdoms rise and fall, but one thing never changes ~ Almighty God. Our leaders can worship Him or deny Him, they can seek Him or ignore Him, they can trust Him or try to forget about Him, but that never changes eternal, absolute truth. God IS.

October 31

2008-11-01T09:12:00.002-04:00

Wow ~ busy week! Our church has this event every year on October 31 called Treat Night. It is really an amazing experience. There is no admission charge, it is open to all who come (although it is targeted specifically to the innercity neighborhood where the church is located) and it is so much fun. We have a Moon Walk, hot and cold cider, popcorn, cotton candy, animal balloons, face painting, a hay ride, and a number of games ~ and oh yeah ~ CANDY! It is staffed entirely by volunteers. I don't know how many years we have been doing this, but every year we have more kids and more fun. It is such a delight meeting all the kids and parents and seeing all the smiles and hearing all the laughter. I must say though, by the end of the evening, we are all totally bushed. It is a whole lot of work leading up to it, then we are all on our feet the entire evening with setting up, staffing the event, then cleaning up afterwards. We all go home and drop into a comfy chair, too tired to even get ready for bed. But it is so worth it all that each year we are all geared up and excited to do it all over again. We have even thought of doing something similar during the summer, though that hasn't come about yet.

It is great to be part of a "family" who is so interested in offering family-friendly, wholesome entertainment at great personal sacrifice, and no cost to others. It is an expensive evening for the church, but that is not our focus. And this "family" is so supportive to each other in good times and bad times, not judgmental, not self-serving, no hidden agendas, just true love, concern, compassion, friendship and support. Perfect people? Absolutely not. Flawed, moody, broke, broken, disappointed, disappointing, imperfect people who have been knocked down, wounded, made mistakes, have regrets, can't pay their bills, struggle with their kids, etc., etc., just like everyone else. EXCEPT ~ they've given their broken, imperfect lives to God, trusted Christ as their savior ~ and that makes ALL the difference. That's where the miracle begins.

If you haven't accepted Christ's love and forgiveness, I highly recommend it. Contact a local Bible-believing church and ask the pastor to lead you to this loving Lord. It is something you will never regret. I promise.

I Found It ~ Really

2008-10-28T08:23:00.003-04:00

Have you ever found yourself thinking:

Man, if only there was a company worth working for.

If only you could trust people to tell you the truth, without some hidden agenda and half-truths.

If only something that seemed too good to be true could really be true.

With all this modern technology, shouldn't there be something that really WORKS where our health is concerned?

If I could design the perfect busines, it would look like...

Well, I have personally had these thoughts many, many times. If only there could be a company you could feel really good about being associated with. If only there were a way to really help people ~ not by throwing money at a problem, but help them with their health, their self-esteem, their know-how, their family situations. If only there could be a "perfect" scenario. If only I could not only pay my bills each month, but have extra money to give to special projects at church, help fill the food pantry, support the local women's shelter, help families with special-needs kids, give more to local and foreign missions...

Well, I have found something I think is really amazing. I have not been associated with them very long (only a few months), but the more I learn and see, the more excited and impressed I really am. If you are curious ~ if you'd like to know more ~ seriously ~ check out the links in "My favorite links." I have never seen ANYTHING quite like it. And trust me, I am a hard-sell, having been let down hard in the past, I am a major skeptic. But I have done some digging on this one, and I mean it when I say "this is the one." It actually addresses EVERYTHING that would have been on my "if only..." list. Be sure to either leave comments here or "contact me" on my personal business website with your feedback and/or questions. If you take a chance on this one, you will never regret it.

Prayer for the Elections

2008-10-27T19:03:00.005-04:00

I am praying for God's perfect will for America. For the upcoming elections. I don't know what God's will is. I know what I think it is. I know what my will is. I am very clear on how I plan to vote. I have done my best to be informed, to be current on the important issues. I have tried to see past what I hear from the main-stream media, past what the political info-mercials tell us. I feel that I am clear on the issues as they relate to my values, beliefs, and priorities. I know exactly how I intend to vote. As I have talked to some, I find that many people still have not made up their minds, they are confused on the issues. I pray that everyone who goes to the polls on election day would take the time first to read up on the issues, educate themselves on where the candidates really stand. There are voter guides available from Focus on the Family. These are non-partisan, strictly-the-facts guides that simply report the past voting records for all the candidates running for office, and other factual information. These guides are simply intended to educate everyone on the issues and the candidates, not to sway anyone's vote one way or the other. We must all become informed voters. The issues are too big, the future of America too precarious, to vote without knowing the facts. Get informed ~ then vote. There is still time. Go to http://focusvoter.com/ and click on your state, then fill out the information, turn off your pop-up blocker, and there you go. It is worth taking the time to be informed.

I Never Put It All Together Before...

2008-10-22T06:46:00.002-04:00

I read the following post on another blog. Fascinating. Really puts it all in perspective ~ read on and see what I mean. (Be sure to read the whole thing, it gets even better.) We DO have some cleaning up to do.

545 PEOPLE... by Charlie Reese

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the
Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against
inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on
appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine
Supreme C ourt justices. 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that
problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their f ault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an
excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole
responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.

Who is the speaker of the House?...She is the leader of the majority
party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million cannot
replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility.

I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable
directly to those 545 people.

When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the
power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.

If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in
IRAQ.

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom
they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.

Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists
disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation,' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

AMEN, and AMEN! What more can be said?

God is Amazing!

2008-10-20T08:18:00.005-04:00

I continue to watch my little granddaughter grow and change. It is the most amazing thing, as a grandmother. I know I marveled at our sons as they grew as well, but there is a difference with a grandchild. I feel more at peace and able to REALLY see her (and Him) in the process. I don't know if that peace comes from not having to stress as the decision maker when she has a runny nose or fever, or if it comes from maturing in the Lord, or the perspective you gain with age, or because God has healed so many of my wounds over the years that I can see all things more clearly without the filter of my soul-pain. It is probably a combination of all of the above. But I can only say, "WOW! God is truly amazing!"

God has been continuously impressing Phil. 4:8 on my mind and heart lately. It must be very important to Him that we focus our minds on all the things listed in this verse of scripture. Important to Him, because it is important to us, only we don't realize it. Someone hurt my feelings a couple weeks ago (not that it was the first time nor the last), and it was so tempting to think negative thoughts, reminding myself of all the times they had hurt me in the past or even things I had seen them do to others which had nothing to do with me, but God brought this scripture to me. At first I thought, "But I can't think of any good things about this person to focus on." And then He reminded me that the verse doesn't say anything about thinking good things about a person or even our circumstances. "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable..." As I thought about those words, what came to mind is God Himself, and His Word. After all, what is "true"? What is "noble, right, pure..."? God is the only one who fits that description completely. So... instead of focusing on the person (even any good traits they might have) or the circumstances (trying to find the "silver lining" in a bad situation), I decided to get my eyes off all that entirely and focus on my awesome Savior, Almighty God (ruler of angel armies!), various scriptures that came to mind, His many blessings, etc.... And TADA! My whole being seemed to change, almost glow, with His presence and His peace and His Spirit. And that was so much better than thinking about earthly things, let me tell you.

I hope this encourages someone today. God bless.

By God's oh-so-amazing Grace,

Rewritten Princess

The End of a Long Day

2008-10-17T20:05:00.003-04:00

Wow, am I tired! It is a good tired, though. When the leaves start to turn all their beautiful fall colors, I get in the mood to bake. I don't know why. So I have been baking most of the day today. I rarely use the same recipe twice ~ I love to try new things. So... today I made a new recipe for Banana Bread Pudding (I used cut up angel food cake instead of bread), and another new recipe for Apple Cobbler, and another new recipe for Pumpkin/Orange Marmalade Bread. And that was all interspersed with my other activities such as grocery shopping and helping get things set up at our church for a large women's event we are having tomorrow. So guess what... I'm pooped. (Can I say pooped? Sometimes my Missouri heritage comes through in my speech and Michiganders look at me kinda funny.) Anyway, I think I'm going to go soak my feet and think about how I wish I had a Therma-Spa hot tub. Toodles. (Can I say toodles?)

God and Life's Trials

2008-10-16T08:50:00.002-04:00

I think my favorite verse of scripture will always be Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV): "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." It was a high school girl who showed me this verse when we were together on a short-term missions trip to Russia about 15 or so years ago. I couldn't believe that verse had been there all along, and I had never noticed it before. It has come back to me over and over again and always brings me peace and comfort. We do live in a fallen world, a world at war ~ and I don't mean the war you can see with physical eyes. We live in the midst of a very brutal war raging all around us ~ a war for the souls of man. But ~ here are some things I know to be ABSOLUTELY TRUE.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. Isaiah 43:2 (NLT)

I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8 (NLT)

I will provide their needs before they ask. I will help them while they are still asking for help. Isaiah 65:24 (NLT)

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:13 (NIV)

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46: 1 (NIV)

Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63: 7-8 (NIV)

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16 (NIV)

I could go on and on listing the powerful words of God. Did you know that the phrase translated "almighty God" in scripture, in the original language actually means "God of angel armies"? The God of angel armies goes before us, leads those armies in battles on our behalf, and tells us not to worry about a thing!

A good friend of mine underwent very serious brain surgery yesterday. The words of the doctors leading up to the surgery were not encouraging. The tumor was large; it was located in a very dangerous place; they advised her to get her affairs in order, maybe go do something she had always wanted to do. But this woman of God had such complete trust in the love and care of her Savior that she had no fears, no doubts, no regrets. Not because she believed that because God loved her she would not have to go through it, or even that because He loved her he would see that she came through the way she wanted to... She was at peace because she fully trusted that, whatever the outcome, He was in control, His ways are perfect and beyond our understanding, and He has a plan which includes ALL the details of her life.

The doctors and nurses were all astounded at her level of peace, even as the time got closer and closer, and even as they came to wheel her down the hall into surgery.

She did come out of the surgery fine. The tumor appears to be benign. "Coincidentally" there were no blood vessels or arteries feeding the tumor. "Coincidentally" there was a sheath between the tumor and the nerves in that part of her brain, so there was no nerve damage. She is now in recovery and we continue to pray for her and her husband and four young children.

God is in control. And who, by their worry, can add one hour to their life? Isn't it better to allow the God who created the universe to be in control in our lives. Now He has the power to do what needs to be done ~ not you, not I ~ He alone has that power. And He loves you and offers you perfect peace.

My Lover

2008-10-15T09:59:00.007-04:00

John Wesley was thirty-five when he experienced the “warming” of his heart toward Christ (not his mind but his heart). In that moment he became not only a "Christian," but a lover of God. There really is a difference. According to author John Eldredge, it was shortly after this that Wesley penned the hymn “Jesus, Lover of My Soul,” whose first verse goes like this: “Jesus, Lover of my soul/Let me to thy bosom fly.” John Eldredge says that down through the years the hymn has left many a hymnologist searching for a more acceptable translation. “The difficulty,” as John Julian said, “is the term Lover as applied to our Lord.” Revisions now in hymnbooks read, “Jesus, Savior of my soul” or, “Jesus, Refuge of my soul,” which are touching but nothing close to what Wesley meant. He meant Lover. This is a phrase that has always deeply stirred me ~ "Jesus, Lover of my soul." I often repeat it to myself, in good times and bad ~ it has a very powerful impact on me.

The idea that “reason and knowledge are everything” has permeated all of our culture, sometimes subtly, and sometimes not so subtle. It has even permeated our churches, which is very sad. I believe Jesus was a man of great passion. I believe He passionately sought to save us from our sin so we could be with Him for all eternity. WOW!

David, who wrote many of the Psalms, wrote with passion about God's love. The poetry that flowed from his heart is filled with unapologetic emotion toward God. He speaks of drinking from God’s “river of delights” (Ps. 36:8 NIV), how his Lover has filled his heart “with greater joy” (4:7 NIV) than all the wealth other men have found, and he writes in many places how his heart sings to God. He cries through the night, aches to be with God. “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence” (16:11 NIV). "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the Living God." (42:1–2 NIV) These are not the words of "reason and knowledge". These are not the words of even your average pastor. For David (and for me), God’s love “is better than life” (63:3 NIV). David is captivated by the Beauty he finds in God. On and on it goes. The man is undone. He is as smitten as any lover might be, only his lover is God. Read the Psalms for yourself. Look for the passion in David's words. And do you think Jesus would have endured the agonizing torture and death before and on the cross for anything less than passion? Or for that matter, leave His throne in Heaven for anything less than passion? I think the term "lover of my soul" is already inadequate to capture the power and intensity of God's great love for each one of us.

As John Eldredge says, "It is possible to recover the lost life of our heart and with it the intimacy, beauty, and adventure of life with God." Ask God to awaken the passion of your heart toward Him. He will take you on an amazing journey of discovery. And you'll never want to go back.

Grief

2008-10-08T11:58:00.004-04:00

Grief is part of the healing process. For me, I had to grieve the fact that I did not have the family I had always longed for growing up. I grieved that I did not grow up being the apple of my daddy's eye, that I was not unconditionally loved, that I never really got to be a "little girl." Grieving the loss helped me to let it go, but I didn't want to get stuck in my grief. And I didn't want to get stuck in anger or bitterness. I can now rejoice in the blessings of today. I can't change the past, but I chose not to let it ruin my present or my future. And I certainly don't want history to repeat itself in my kids and grandkids. When we don't deal with past hurts, we usually go on to hurt the people we love most, consciuosly or unconsciously. Perhaps you need to grieve the losses in your life. Here are a few to consider:

Loss of innocence
Loss of a nurturing family
Loss of security
Loss of a close relationship with your mother
Loss of a healthy relationship with your father
Loss of trust
Loss of employment
Loss of a marriage
Loss of a spouse
Loss of a child
Loss of a friendship
Loss of hope

God's resurrection power is more than sufficient to resurrect hope in you again. Allow His love to resurrect and re-write your soul. Take the time necessary to really heal. He has come to give you LIFE, ABUNDANT LIFE.

Out of Abundance

2008-10-06T08:44:00.004-04:00

I know I keep using quotes from John Eldredge, but he has so many good things to say! Here, then, is a quote that arrived in my email this morning.

If then you are wise, you will show yourself rather as a reservoir than as a canal. A canal spreads abroad water as it receives it, but a reservoir waits until it is filled before overflowing, and thus without loss to itself [it shares] its superabundant water. (Bernard of Clairvuex)

A beautiful picture. The canal runs dry so quickly, shortly after the rains subside. Like a dry streambed in the desert. But a reservoir is a vast and deep reserve of life. We are called to live in a way that we store up reserves in our heart, and then offer from a place of abundance. As Jesus said, “Therefore every teacher of the law who has been instructed about the kingdom of heaven is like the owner of a house who brings out of his storeroom new treasures as well as old” (Matt 13:52). I’m thinking, Storeroom? What storeroom? “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart…for out of the overflow of his heart, his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45 emphasis added).

I think we get burned out when we don't spend enough time re-charging on God's word. Sometimes I think we feel like we are being selfish when we say no when we are asked to take on some "good" thing at church or helping out a friend. But we can't do everything ~ we just can't. I don't know if we have to be spending more time getting filled up with the Word than giving out of the abundance, but we do have to be full before we can give. Otherwise, we are no real good to anyone, and whatever we endeavor to do we are trying to do in our own strength and wisdom ~ how effective can that really be?

God is so very good, and He has so much to give to us. He is so willing to pour Himself into us when we spend time in His presence. I have been trying to make this more of a priority in my life. I need to fill that storeroom every single day, often more than once a day. But I can get so busy doing, that sometimes I let this "priority" take second place to other, less critical things. Even good things can get in the way of God's best in our lives.

Just some of my thoughts this morning. Be sure to let me know what you think.

Sarah Palin

2008-10-03T08:21:00.006-04:00

I have been very impressed by Sarah Palin. I must admit, I have never been in favor of a female president in the past. I still feel that the pressures of the presidency/vice presidency are such that no one in their right mind would want to be subjected to that, male or female. I have noticed in the past how quickly most presidents visibly age after taking office. Ronald Reagan was an exception ~ he never really seemed too ruffled, and he didn't seem to age any faster than the normal process. I noticed the same thing about George W. Bush during his first term in office. His second term was a different story. I have wondered whether he spent more time on his knees in prayer during his first term, thus leading to more peace of mind and slower aging. I don't know this for sure, but it also appears evident to me in his decisions and policies of his second term ~ that perhaps he spent less time asking for divine guidance, thus leading to less peace, less divine wisdom, and more rapid aging. And what about prayer cover from fellow Believers?

Sarah Palin is beautiful, isn't she? And my goodness, didn't she handle the debate well last night? She is one smart lady, with a quick wit and able to think on her feet. She has the look of one who spends much time with her Lord. Whichever team is elected p/vp, they will be in desperate need of our prayers. (Of course I have my personal preference for the job.) America is hard on her public servants. The job is wrought with decisions that require divine guidance. Earthly wisdom will not be enough. And if the stresses of the job itself weren't enough, we have the mainstream media ripping them to shreds publicly over every tiny thing they can find (oh wait, that's only if the team is Republican).

My point is ~ we as Christians have a divine, God-given assignment. We are to pray for our leaders. All of them, no matter their political party. I can't help but wonder whether during George Bush's second term, Christians became too complacent, and began to neglect lifting him in prayer. Do we really understand the critical nature of this command from the God we love? It is the enemy of us ALL who wants us to be so busy that we don't have time or we forget to pray for our leaders. Busy-ness is not "just part of life." It is part of our enemy's plan for us. I really think that, more than George Bush, any failures in this past presidency rest on OUR shoulders, as his fellow Christians. I am not pointing fingers ~ I, too, am guilty. Somehow I just forgot to keep praying for him as diligently during his second term.

We cannot make that mistake again. Perhaps a good barometer of the amount of prayer from the Christians of America on behalf of the presidency is to watch the faces of the p/vp. If they appear to be unduly aging, we ain't prayin'.

Walking With God

2008-09-30T15:53:00.005-04:00

I have been so incredibly blessed. Here is a quote from the book Waking the Dead, by John Eldredge. "Hopefully you will find a few folks who walk with God to also walk with you through the seasons of your life. But honesty – and Scripture – forces me to admit they are a rare breed. Few there are who find it. All the more reason for you to make the number less scarce, by becoming someone who walks with God and teaches others how." I have a number of very close Christian friends, friends who do walk closely with God, friends who have stood by my side through some really terrible times. These are friends I could call at any hour of the day or night and they would be right there to comfort and support me. And I would do the same for them. And I am married to an amazing man. His unconditional love never ceases to amaze me, and often brings tears to my eyes. I sometimes watch others struggle in relationships. I see families who live their days screaming and yelling at each other and their kids, sometimes coming to blows, and I remember what it was like growing up in that kind of environment, and I wonder why people CHOOSE to live like that. Can they really not see there is a better way? I remember as a child deciding I would never get married, because I never wanted to live the way my family lived, I never wanted to be treated the way my mother was treated by her husbands. I thought being alone was the only way to be happy. I was wrong. God created us for relationships. And when those relationships are conducted according to God's perfect plan, there is no greater blessing. Friendship, marriage, family ~ these were all created and designed by God to bless us. The enemy twists and perverts everything if we let him. So it is really a choice between blessing and curse. My mother chose the curse ~ and I can't imagine any greater pain. I chose the blessing ~ and I never could have imagined how great the wonder, the joy, the peace. God is good and awesome, powerful and amazing. I have been richly blessed beyond my wildest dreams. (That doesn't mean that any of us are perfect, or that there are never times of tension or struggle, but with God's guidance and strength, we work through those times.) And I take nothing for granted.

My Favorite Scripture

2008-09-25T23:19:00.002-04:00

Do you have a favorite Scripture? I have many, many, many favorites, but my #1 favorite is Jeremiah 29:11. In the NIV it says: For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.

The Lord brought this Scripture to my attention at a time when I desperately needed it, several years ago. It was a time when I was seriously questioning why God allowed the horrors of my childhood. Every time I read this verse, it is almost as though I can hear His voice, see the love and compassion in His eyes, feel the warmth of His love. It says exactly what I needed (and still need) to hear. His plan was never to harm me. The abuse was NOT part of His plan. I am blown away by God's love. Here are two lines from a poem I wrote a while back.

He loved her more deeply than she could believe,

But because of her pain it was hard to receive.

It was hard to receive God's love for a long time. I am so glad He has been patient with me. He never gave up on me, but pursued me with passion and persistence. I have come a long, long way. And I am so blessed to accept and embrace the love of God. Where would I be today without His love? I hate to even think.

I pray that you know His love. It is the most amazing place of rest.

What Is Church?

2008-09-24T11:07:00.003-04:00

I was in a conversation with someone recently, and we were talking about some folks who have left our church for various reasons. Here are some of the thoughts and opinions we came up with.

What is church? Is it a building? Is it a place we go to? Is it a denomination? I think, according to Scripture, church is the body of Christ, a community of people ~ not a building or a place or something we do. It is family ~ it is a body. And although "the body of Christ" encompasses all Christians, moving from one church to another is not to be taken lightly ~ you wouldn't want part of an arm deciding it would rather hang around with the leg. And within that body I believe God wants us to care about and for each other, to be united ~ not alike, not of the same opinion, but united. And I think that when we allow gossip, division, disunity, discord, personal likes and dislikes to come between us, we are giving the enemy the victory. I sort of view my church family almost like a marriage. Unless God Himself says very clearly to me that He wants me to be a part of a different fellowship, I need to stay right where I am and work out whatever issues I might have, just as I would in a marriage. My happiness or comfort or music preference or even whether I agree with how the board or the pastor handled a given issue (no matter how important I felt that issue was to me) are not reasons to call it quits and start attending somewhere else. You don't just walk out on family. And some issues can seem huge. And people disappoint. But what is church? If it is a club or social gathering, move on when it doesn't meet your needs. If it is just a building or something to do, by all means move on. But if it is the body of Christ? If it is family? Do we care whether we are being used as pawns for the enemy's purposes? Are our own feelings and comfort levels more important to us than what God Himself wants to say to our hearts. If we pull up stakes and run every time life gets difficult, how stable is any relationship we are in? Our marriage? Our friendships? Our family?

And I do think there are times when God does want us to move on for various reasons, but He should be the one to tell us that. What if He wants us to move on because He is doing a great work at this church and He hasn't been able to get our attention and get us on board with His plan? I think it is rarely because He has given up on one congregation and is moving you to a better one.

Are there circumstances that come up in churches that can make it extremely difficult or even painful for you to continue to attend there? Certainly. And sometimes it really might be more than you can take. But I don't think changing fellowships should ever be taken lightly, or done without many, many hours of heartfelt prayer, listening for the voice and will of God. Will He punish you if you decide to move on contrary to His will? I don't think He is sitting somewhere with a switch or a belt waiting to "spank" you for your hard heart or disobedience. But I do think it grieves Him, disappoints Him, and hinders His best in your life.

I have learned through the circumstances of my life that there is NOTHING He can't redeem. But He does not violate our free will. And we sometimes make pretty big messes. But as long as our hearts are soft toward Him, and we are repentent and trusting in Him and seeking Him, He can redeem anything.

Just some of the thoughts running around in my head today. What are yours?

What is Wrong?

2008-09-23T16:39:00.006-04:00

Here is something I read recently. "Children need two basic messages when they are growing up: You are loved more than you can possibly imagine, and, You are not the center of the universe. Without the first, a child will grow up insecure, uncertain, looking for love and finding it difficult to believe that he is worthy of being loved, even by God. Without the second, he will grow up selfish and self-centered, assuming that everyone else’s agenda bows to his own. "

Do you know people who fit these two scenarios? Unable to accept love and/or selfish and self-centered? We run into them every day, don't we? I have to admit that for years I fell into the first category. But a large part, maybe the biggest part, of what God "rewrote" in me was this. I have learned, really learned, about God's love and the love of a good husband and close friends. It was not an easy lesson, and sometimes very briefly those old thoughts will try to come back, but I have learned to recognize them as hogwash. Lies from the enemy who is bent on my destruction, or at the very least, bent on keeping me from being effective in my family, friendships and ministry.

What about the second group? Those who are selfish and self-centered, assuming everyone else's agenda bows, or should bow, to their own? Well, I have met some of these. But mostly I read about them or hear about them in the news. Like all the crazy lawsuits ~ your hot coffee burned me so I'll sue; I had an accident in your car so I'll sue; my child failed math so I'll sue; your dog messed in my yard so I'll sue; I broke my leg while breaking in to rob your home so I'll sue... Aren't these examples of this self-centered way of thinking?

Someone forgot to teach a lot of kids growing up that life isn't fair, and the world owes you nothing ~ not happiness, not wealth, not even food or a job or a home (or healthcare). Pain is inevitible, but misery is optional. Challenges are inevitible, obstacles are inevitible, surprises are inevitible, pain is inevitible! We are free to choose how we handle adversity and challenge. Attitude is the single most determining factor in every decision we will ever make. Success in life is about so much more than money or "happiness". Am I a success in life if I achieve wealth by suing you because I burned myself on your coffee? Or even when I win the lottery? I don't think so. What is success? I think success is being the person God created you to be ~ the very best you. Did God create you to scratch and claw your way to a fortune? No. God created you to know and love and trust Him, to learn who He created you to be, and to learn from Him how to be it. That is success. What epitaph would you want on your tombstone or in the newspaper? Here lies a woman who really clawed her way to the top. I wonder if anyone will miss her. Or... Here lies a godly woman whose life impacted those around her for good. She will be sorely missed.

These are just some of my thoughts today.

By God's oh-so-amazing grace,

Rewritten Princess

Habits ~ Good Ones & Bad Ones

2008-09-18T13:06:00.002-04:00

This is a quote from another blog I subscribe to:

"Habits are the auto pilot in our lives. If we form good ones we will get good results. Bad ones, likewise, produce results of their own kind... Never underestimate the power of accumulated action over time. Good action can produce staggeringly successful results. Negligent actions can produce catastrophically dire consequences."

I have been taking a look, lately, at my daily habits. I have come to realize I am not a very good steward of my time. I have thought for years I might have a little ADHD goin' on ~ but that is not really a good excuse. (And I don't want to come down with "excusitis" which I have heard can be a debilitating disease!) I would like to have "staggeringly successful results" in my life. Whether it be in the area of Bible study, family, friendships, ministry, finances, business, housekeeping, etc., etc. I am going to take some steps to be more accountable with my time and activities ~ which may mean I post here less, or maybe later at night, so my daytime hours can be spent on other productive activities. My husband says I seem to "spin my wheels" alot. That may have something to do with the ADHD I mentioned earlier, but I do believe that "good habits" can make a big difference here. One good friend suggested deciding up front how much time I want to spend on a given activity, then set a timer and stop when it goes off, then move on to the next activity. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, right? I'd like to get more out of mine. If anyone can relate to this, please leave me a comment. (Or am I all alone in this?)

Pray for America

2008-09-18T09:35:00.006-04:00

First of all, we need to pray for the outcome of the elections, all of them. For the man of God's choosing, for God's will for America. Then after the election, whoever is elected, they need our ongoing prayers ~ and they need them desperately. With all that America is facing these days, I think it will require more wisdom than any human being, or group of human beings, can possibly have on their own. We, as Christians, are commanded by Scripture to pray for our leaders. We simply must. Click on "Pray the Vote" in the Link box on the right, and join other Christians around the country in prayer. You can also find a current, specific list of prayer requests and concerns for the president and for America.

Honesty, Humility, and Friendship

2008-09-12T16:08:00.004-04:00

Well, I had an old lesson reinforced the last couple of days. Friendship is a very precious thing. It is worth fighting for. Lasting friendship takes work, but it is well worth the effort. Even the closest of friends are going to have differences, or times they get under each other's skins, even times they get so angry they don't like each other very much. But if we let that be the end, the enemy wins.

I have had to learn over the last few years to be angry, believe it or not. My childhood was such that anger was an emotion I cut off and separated myself from for survival. And when I learned that anger can be a good thing (what a shock that was), I tried to let it in, but I was afraid it would choke me, overwhelm me, take over. It didn't. But I still keep a wary eye on it.

Anyhow, what I have learned about friendship is this: it always pays to be (tenderly) honest; anger can be a good thing; issues should always be dealt with pretty quickly; and a little (or a lot) of humility goes a very looooooong way. Never make decisions while you are angry. Anger taints everything.

When I get hurt or angry, I have a tendency to see everything from only my point of view. I feel it is so unfair, so unjust, my motives were so pure, the other person is behaving out of line. But I have found, for me, that it is best to sort of step back, take a deep breath, and humbly ask God to show me what my part in the fracture is, and what He would want me to do at this point.

God usually tenderly, but firmly, shows me how I am not as innocent as I would like to believe. And so far He always asks me to take the first step in mending the broken relationship. Usually I find that, after honest discussion with soft voices, issues are not only worked out, but the friendship grows stronger than ever before.

When this happens, everybody wins. Well... everybody except the devil. He loses. Big time! Unity is restored, fellowship is rich, and a rift in the body of Christ is healed. Yes ~ friendships are worth working on and fighting for ~ even when it forces us to take a hard look at ourselves and swallow a large dose of humility.

By God's oh-so-amazing grace!

Rewritten Princess

Warrior Princesses

2008-09-11T10:39:00.006-04:00

The following is a quote I received in my e-mail this morning. It is a "thought of the day" that I subscribe to.
_______________________________

“Me, a princess?”
“You are the legal heir.”
“I never lead anyone.”
“We will help you to be a princess, to rule. If you refuse to accept the throne then the
kingdom will cease to exist as we know it.”
--The Princess Diaries

In God’s name we must fight them!
--Joan of Arc
Women are often portrayed in stories and tales as the “Damsel in Distress.” We are the ones for whom men rise up and slay dragons. We are the “weaker sex”; said to faint at the sight of blood, needing to be spared the gory details of battle whether on the field or in the market place. We are the ones waiting in our flowing gowns for the knight to come and carry us away on the back of his white horse. And yes. There are days when a knight in shining armor would be most welcome. We do long to be fought for; loved enough to be courageously protected. But there is a mighty fierceness set in the heart of women by God. It is true to who we are and what we are created to do.

Women are warriors too.

Redeemed women of God have tender, merciful hearts, backbones of steel and hands that have been trained for battle. There is something incredibly fierce in the heart of a woman that is to be contended with, not dismissed, not disdained, but recognized, honored, welcomed and trained.

(Captivating, by John Eldredge)

________________________________

Isn't it nice to hear that the "weaker sex" can be "warriors" too ~ and it doesn't take anything away from being feminine! I mean, it is something we all probably knew already in some sense, but it is still nice to hear it. We already know how hard we fight for our families, for our kids, for what we believe ~ we fight with the schools, the bullies, and neighbors if necessary ~ we fight on our knees, or when necessary, we fight on our feet, sometimes with our words, sometimes with a look... I do like to be fought for, I must confess. I love to be protected and honored and loved by my husband. I love to be sheltered. I love when my husband worries about me, comforts me, takes care of me. But I also know that I am a positive force in my family, that my prayers are powerful, that I have important things to say, that my influence is needed in the lives of our kids and grandkids. I love the idea of being a princess, which for some reason brings to my mind a picture of a little girl in a pink tutu dancing and twirling and singing in her little girl voice without a care in the world (which was never my experience, only my dream) ~ and I love the idea of being a warrior. Maybe I should have named my blog "Warrior Princess." Well, I can be a REWRITTEN Warrior Princess. Anyway, I love being a woman ~ Wow, that is not something I have always been able to say. Even now it sounds a little strange, but it fits, too.

I especially love that last part of the quote above: "Redeemed women of God have tender, merciful hearts, backbones of steel and hands that have been trained for battle. There is something incredibly fierce in the heart of a woman that is to be contended with, not dismissed, not disdained, but recognized, honored, welcomed and trained." Something incredibly fierce. And that's a GOOD thing! Not something to be ashamed of. I like it.

God is Soooooo Good!

2008-09-06T10:46:00.005-04:00

God's love and support for me blows me away. Who am I that He is mindful of me? Growing up, I was convinced that I was a "throw away person." That is a notion that I have had to work very hard to get rid of, over many years. And in some ways it still comes back, maybe in more subtle ways, more quiet ways. Like the way I seem to sabotage myself at times. I'll go on a diet and do great for a while, then I really blow it ~ I don't just go off it, I go crazy. What's that all about?! I think it goes back to that old message. I do this kind of thing with lots of things, not just diets. Anyhow, I'm still in the "process," still on my healing "journey."

But the thing is ~ the blessings I have received, the ways in which I have been privileged to experience God in my life, have blown me away. To rewrite all those messages I received as a kid is a task that only God could accomplish. And why would He care to put all that time and effort into me? Seriously. Well, I can't answer the why. I can only testify that He has. He lets me know in so many ways every day that He is with me, that He loves me, that He will never give up on me, that He not only loves me, but that He likes me, He chose me, He cares.

I could have followed in the "family tradition" that went on for generations. I could have followed my mom's example and married and divorced one abuser after another. My life right now could be very ugly. But instead...

I am married to a wonderful man, who blesses me with his love and patience every day. I am surrounded by friends who have stood by me through some tough times. Friends I finally let in far enough that they got to know the real me, they got to know my story. And they stayed! They not only stayed, but in knowing each other more deeply, we also love each other more deeply. Who woulda thought? Why did I waste all that time and energy wearing a mask and trying to hide, keeping everyone at a safe distance? This is so much better.

So ~ God has blessed me with His love and all that entails, He blessed me with a wonderful husband, He blessed me with an amazing group of friends, He has continued patiently rewriting all those lies that were engraved on my heart, the list goes on and on.

God is so good. Sooooooooooo good! And today I am feeling especially grateful.

Layers of an Onion Part 2

2008-09-03T20:48:00.003-04:00

I am afraid that my previous blog made it sound like there is only pain where my granddaughter is concerned, so I want to set that record very straight. She is the delight of my life. When she smiles at me the sun shines more brightly, and when she cries... well let's just say, she doesn't get much chance to cry at my house. When she is not here it feels like something very important is missing. She is the most beautiful little lady I have ever seen (no bias here). She has brought so much joy. And I really have to say that, even the triggers bring joy in the end, as each one is faced and grieved and given to God. So... We serve an awesome God, I have a very special granddaughter, I have a loving husband and a family who loves me (which includes a large church family). I think a good life, a balanced life, is a healthy mixture of joy and pain. I have that. So life is good. It just isn't always easy. Thank God for God, and for his faithfulness, his mercy, his unconditional love, his power to heal, his comfort, his strength, his... (the list goes on into eternity)

By God's oh-so-amazing grace,

the Rewritten Princess

Layers of an Onion

2008-09-03T18:10:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I get to a place where I feel like, wow, I'm glad that's over, and now I'm doing okay. I feel pretty stable. Then *bang* ~ another trigger is hit.

I had a hard time adjusting to the idea of having a granddaughter, not because I don't want to be granny, but because of my wounded heart feeling vulnerable to the pain of risk ~ the risk of loving a precious little girl that I can't protect, the risk of old memories being triggered. And right from the first moment of learning that the baby was a girl triggers have been tripped. Not constantly, but regularly, sort of out of the blue. Once I was walking thru the store looking at baby girl clothes and enjoying myself ~ there are so many cute things ~ when suddenly my thoughts took a turn and I was sobbing my eyes out right there in the store. Each time something like this happens I take time to grieve and to talk things out with God, sometimes with the help of others. My husband is a great help. He is very patient and understanding and gentle. I made a commitment to myself, to God, and to my granddaughter, that I would not guard my heart where she is concerned. I will love her with my whole heart, no matter the triggers, no matter the memories, no matter the pain. And as the triggers come, there is pain. And it isn't quick and it isn't easy, but as I have let the tears flow and taken the time I need to really talk it through with God, I believe I am continuing on my journey of healing. I am not holding back from the pain. It reminds me of the layers of an onion (apparently a very BIG onion). As each layer of hurt is peeled away, there are more and more layers underneath, and onions always bring tears, but each time I am one more layer closer to getting my heart back.

There have been many different things that have set off triggers, and I'm sure there will be many more to come. She is, after all, only 3 months old! It is one thing to trust God for MY healing and to be able to use the pain in MY life to comfort others, but to imagine that my granddaughter might have to walk through the ugly places where I have had to walk, is heavy stuff indeed. I know that trust that is easy is really not trust ~ trust has to be tested or it isn't worth much. This is a hard test ~ do I trust God with my granddaughter or not? I am trying not to see an abuser behind every bush (unless of course there really is one behind every bush). And she has good parents who love her dearly and I know they will do their best, too.

Yes! Lord, I believe...help thou my unbelief. As Twila Paris said in an older song of hers, "I will trust you Lord when I don't know why; I will trust you Lord till the day I die; I will trust you Lord when I'm blind with pain; You were God before and You'll never change." And so, another layer of the onion is being peeled away. How many more layers can there be? (I don't think I want to know.)

By God's oh-so-amazing grace!
From the Rewritten Princess

Ugh! Politics!

2008-09-02T07:52:00.005-04:00

When I heard who McCain's running mate was for the preidential election I was so excited! I had heard some about her in previous news on how she has handled the corruption in Alaskan government, how she put the previous Alaskan governor's private jet on Ebay because the state needed the funds far more than she needed a plane, how she put a stop to the ridiculous "bridge to nowhere." Since being chosen as the Republican VP running mate, comments I have heard from those who live in Alaska have been equally encouraging. It is said that citizens of Alaska believe she is the very best governor they have ever had, that she is as upright and honest a person as they've ever known, that she is a very strong Christian woman. In my mind, all excellent qualities for a VP, or for a President. But most of what I read in the mainstream media since her surprise selection has been ugly, and to my mind, irrelevant. "McCain's campaign has been trying to tamp down questions about whether the Arizona senator adequately researched his surprise vice presidential selection or whether he chose the first-term governor without fully looking into her background. Nicolle Wallace, a senior McCain adviser, told ABC's "Good Morning America" on Tuesday that Palin disclosed her daughter's pregnancy during the vetting process, and that the McCain campaign had been forced to reveal the pregnancy publicly Monday because of "lewd and outrageously false rumors" spread by "Democratic-leaning blogs and a few in the mainstream" media. She did not identify them. Since McCain publicly disclosed his running mate on Friday, the notion of a shoddy, rushed review has been stoked repeatedly." Stoked by whom (do we need to wonder)? When you look at what Obama does to anyone who questions him, including what he has been trying to do to Dr. Dobson and Focus on the Family Ministries for publicizing a little-known speech Obama himself had given, I find it frightening the lengths to which Obama's campaign will go to in his attempts to win this election.

In a perfect world, the candidates would simply let you know who they really are, what they really stand for, what they would really do if elected ~ and let the voters decide what they want/need. But in the real world, we had better be ready to do our own "investigation," be willing to look at facts about each, and get out there and vote our convictions. We can't believe most of what we are told through the media, we have to be willing to find the answers on our own. Again, in a pefect world, truth and facts would be reported in the news, as devoid as possible of a reporter's or his boss's personal opinions or bias. But in the real world, we are told only what they want us to know, always with the obvious slant of the news media's personal bias. When you read the section above that I copied from a news article on the selection of Palin for VP, did you notice the venimous way it was written? "McCain's campaign has been trying to tamp down questions" ~ not answer or address but tamp down. "The McCain campaign had been forced to reveal the pregnancy publicly" ~ instead of had answered questions honestly, revealing that Palin's daughter was pregnant. And all this over issues that I have to ask ~ what do they have to do with her qualifications as VP? If that is all they can come up with to question whether she is qualified, I say they have proven the Republicans' choice for them.

And I HATE what politics have become! It is so unfortunate that it is this way, because so many Americans, especially the young, have no faith in the process anymore, and don't even plan to vote! I say we all need to get out there and vote. Every single American of voting age. Educate yourselves, dig deeper, listen to mainstream media, but also listen to talk radio, Christian and non-Christian news sources, and make your very best educated decision ~ and VOTE. America as we know it ~ freedoms, laws, national budget, foreign policy, taxes and so much more ~ will improve, fall apart, or stay the same, based on who our elected officials are. Casting an educated vote is the most important thing you have to do, the most patriotic thing, in your lifetime. More important than waving the American flag in parades or lining the streets when soldiers come home or celebrating the 4th of July. Because if you don't vote, America herself becomes sicker and sicker, possibly unto death. How can we say we love our country, and not do all we can to take care of her? And taking care of her means we have got to put in the time and effort to find out the truth of our politicians, not just presidential but all of them, and vote what we believe based on that truth. No matter which way you vote, vote based on the truth, not based on manipulated news or what a candidate looks like or whether their teenager did something you disapprove of.

Okay. I will climb down off my soap box ~ not because I have nothing more to say, because there is SO much more I could say. But I think I have said enough for now. Please ~ find out the answers for yourselves, and VOTE.

A Very Big God

2008-08-29T09:31:00.003-04:00

I have felt for some time that God is bigger than I have given him credit for. And so I have made it a point for years to really stretch myself and get to know the God of the scriptures. It has become a passion of mine to separate what man has taught me about God from what the scriptures actually teach about God. Not that those two are always different, but they often are. Man, by nature it seems, tries to define and explain who God is and what he will and won't do, maybe because that helps them keep their faith when God doesn't respond the way they want him to. And then we come along and add our own interpretation to what man says about God and think we have a clear picture. For example, when you hear a pastor say, "God hates divorce," what do you really hear? Most people hear, "God hates those who are divorced." It may not be a conscious thought until we find ourselves in that category, and then it can be devastating. But what does God's word say? God's word doesn't make any distinction about divorce saying it is any worse than any other sin that breaks his heart. The thing he hates most about divorce is the pain and suffering it brings to everyone involved, and how far this is from the joy he intended marriage and family to be. And how much more pain and suffering are added when we think God hates us because we are divorced? Or how about a definition of God that says, "He doesn't do that anymore. That was in the Old Testament before Jesus came to live in our hearts." Or, "That was in the early church when miracles were needed to get it established and help it grow." Doesn't it seem that we have shrunk God down to our own finite definitions of who he is and how he will behave and when? Does that seem wrong to anyone besides me? I read these words somewhere recently: We’ve shrunk God with conditions and expectations ~ we’ve taken his grandness and washed him in the hot water of fear and logic until he’s shrunken and small ~ God is bigger than we can grasp. I think more of us need to go back to studying ~ really studying ~ the scriptures for ourselves, and let God's Holy Spirit speak to our hearts about who he is, what he wants us to know about himself as he reveals it. I don't think we can ever define God, who is infinite, with our minds which are finite. I don't think we can ever say, "sure he could do that, but he won't, he just doesn't do those things anymore." I say, let God be God. Let him surprise me with his mercy, surprise me with his blessings, surprise me with his power, surprise me with his grace, any time he wants to. I say, come to God as a child comes, without definitions and limitations, just lay out for him all that you are and think and want, and let him do with it what he will. And then be satisfied with his response, knowing that his heart toward you is good and his love for you is beyond your understanding. Even when God says no, we can know that it is out of his loving heart for reasons of his own, and not because our faith is small or we have hidden sin or he loves us less than someone else. These are some of my thoughts today. I just love God. For who he is, and not for who I think he is or who I want him to be. Just for who he is. And his love surprises me every day. God is bigger than we can grasp.

By God's oh-so-amazing grace,
From the Rewritten Princess

Forgiveness

2008-08-28T10:38:00.003-04:00

Paul warns us that unforgiveness and bitterness can wreck our lives and the lives of others (Eph. 4:31; Heb. 12:15). As someone has said, forgiveness is setting a prisoner free and then discovering the prisoner was you. I used to think forgiveness came easy for me, I didn't feel I harbored any anger or bitterness over my childhood abuse. It took quite a bit of counseling to realize that I hadn't really forgiven, I had simply split from my emotions so effectively that I didn't "feel" the anger and bitterness that I had hidden deeply away below the surface. But even though "anger and bitterness" were hidden and buried, they still had a very powerful impact on my daily life, and on the people around me. I first had to believe that I had not deserved all that happened to me, none of it was my fault. As I began to look at myself as a normal, lovable child with value, then look at what my abusers did to that small child, slowly the anger began to surface. This was a necessary step. I was terrified that the anger would overwhelm me, so it took a while for me to let go and trust God to walk with me through it, but God was so patient and tender. The anger surfaced, and there was a lot of it, and I had to keep letting it come until God seemed to say "enough." He even had to identify for me all the people I was angry with, which meant bringing up more memories I hadn't thought about for many years. In the end, choosing to forgive, acknowledging the truth of what I had suffered, made the forgiveness real, not cheap. It also wasn't easy ~ it had to be a process of letting go over time. Forgiveness is a choice. It is not a feeling, but an act of the will. As Neil Anderson wrote, “Don’t wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving; you will never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made.” I had to acknowledge that it did hurt, it did matter, and I didn't deserve any of it. I think the reason I feel so free and at peace today is because of this step of forgiveness. I found that I had to forgive more than I at first realized. And then I had to deal with anger I felt for God that I hadn't recognized before. I would never want to walk through it all again, but it has been more than worth it to be where I am today. I have learned much about letting go of control, about trusting God. Still more to learn, but I am not who I used to be. I am a new creation. God is more amazing than I ever could have imagined or appreciated before. My heart is so much more capable of receiving the love he has lavished and is lavishing on me. I can't get enough of him. I just want to soak him in like a sponge. If you struggle with forgiveness, I pray you can also come to this place of peace on the other side. God is so very, very faithful.

Family

2008-08-27T09:12:00.002-04:00

Well, I heard some exciting and devastating news today. Have you ever heard the word "ambivalent?" I first heard that word only a few years ago and have since jokingly taken that as my middle name. I have such strongly mixed emotions about so many things in life. I just received news today that two very, very special people in my life have sold their house and are moving out of town. This couple is more like close family than mere friends. Now granted, they aren't moving across the country or around the world. But until now they have lived close by and their unwaivering love and acceptance and friendship has meant more to my husband and I than I can even express. They have walked with us through the worst times of our entire lives, and they did so without judgment, without question, and without hesitation. This was healing balm to my soul during a time when my soul was dying under brutal assault. At the same time that I am feeling this tremendous sense of loss over this news, I am also very excited for them. God has blessed them so very richly as he has provided a way "out of the blue" for them to be closer to their kids and grandkids. With the economy what it is here in Michigan, the chances of them selling their house for a decent price are close to nil, and yet, without their house even being listed for sale, God provided a way. God is so good. God is sooooooooo good. My two dear friends will ALWAYS be in our prayers, for good health, unending joy, wonderful new friends, a home filled with peace, and the true rest that comes from trusting God in all things. And I hope they realize that they will have a couple of out-of-town visitors stopping in from time to time for a cup of coffee and a good chat. My husband and I will miss you terribly, my friends, but we are truly happy for you. You are loved.

How To Tell If Your Feet Stink.

2008-08-25T20:00:00.003-04:00

I got this in an e-mail today. I thought it was hilarious! I thought it might be good to go more on the light side today. (I love to laugh ~ don't you? We laugh A LOT at our house. I hope you do, too.)

By God's Amazing Grace ~ Rewritten Princess

TRUST

2008-08-22T11:45:00.002-04:00

Wow! Trusting ~ really trusting ~ is so hard for me. I have come so far, and I am much, much better at trusting. I have had to learn to trust even myself. To trust my feelings, my hunches, my intuition, my wisdom, my parenting skills, my ability to hear and respond to the leading of the Lord. Probably the hardest thing was learning to trust God (even though I was a Christian), because trusting God means I have to let HIM be in control, which means I CAN'T be the one in control. Wow! That was a hard one. As a child I learned that survival was completely up to me. Emotional survival, physical survival, you name it. As an adult I clung to that habit for years, not letting anyone get too close, always maintaining control of my surroundings and my relationships and ALL things within my "realm." And I found out the hard way that this kind of control actually sets you up for MORE abuse, not less. Because we were not created to live that way. We were made for relationships. We need each other. Okay, I have stopped wearing my mask, I have stopped "splitting," I have let a number of people get inside my walls, and I must admit, though scary, I do like this better. I have found that it is possible to let someone know you fully and not be rejected or humiliated or emotionally trampled. As a result I now have a wonderful support system of friends who hold me up when I need it, counsel me when I need it, pray for me often, and I do the same for them. It's pretty awesome. Even my relationship with my amazing husband has grown into a thing of great beauty.

In this whole process of growth, I have also learned MUCH about trusting God. Why was this the hardest of all? Well, I have learned that He does, indeed, love ME. Not just the world in general of which I am a part, but me individually. I have learned that Jeremiah 29:11 is true. (Look it up!) I have learned that He has been with me from the very beginning, and He has even given me mental pictures of where He was and exactly what He was doing during some of my WORST memories of childhood abuse. So yeah, it has been an amazing, difficult, painful, awesome, wonderful journey.

But today I find I still have some trust issues. I am currently unemployed. I am one who has been pretty much steadily employed since my first job at age 14. My most recent job was one I could do from home, which I loved beyond belief. That job has come to an end, and I find myself 100% opposed to going out to seek another "conventional" job. I want to stay home SO badly. I don't know that we can pay our bills on just my husband's income. We are trying to cut every unnecessary cost we can think of: I cancelled my hair cut appointment and will begin cutting my own hair (which I have done before so it's not impossible); we are cancelling memberships in things like video rental service; we are learning to do without many things we never gave a thought to before ~ we just picked them up; we are consolidating trips into town as much as possible; looking for things we can sell ~ all very good ideas anyway... learning to be better stewards. And at the beginning of August when I received my last paycheck I believed God wanted me to stay home and to TRUST Him for the provision. At the beginning of August that was pretty easy. Now it is almost the end of August ~ the time when I would have received my next paycheck ~ and I find that TRUST is starting to be more of a challenge. DOES God want me to stay home? SHOULD I go out and find a job? If He is saying no, trust me, I will supply, then looking for a job is disobedience and is a step backward in learning to trust. But I don't see HOW we can pay our bills without my income.

I am reminded of a quote from John Eldredge in his book Waking the Dead.

"Wisdom is crucial. But wisdom is not enough. Wisdom is essential . . . and insufficient. Saul of Tarsus was headed to Damascus, 'breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples,' with official documents granting him permission to arrest all Christians in the city and have them sent to prison (Acts 9:1–2). Now, you and I know that Jesus changed Saul’s agenda rather radically before he ever reached the city—the blinding light, the voice from heaven, the total realignment of his worldview. But the believers in Damascus don’t know all this. As they wait in fear for Saul’s arrival, God speaks to one of them, a man named Ananias, and tells him to go to the house where Saul is staying, lay hands on him, and pray for him. Understandably, Ananias suggests this is not such a good idea. 'Lord . . . I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name' (9:13–14). It’s okay, God says, he’s my man now. Against wisdom Ananias goes, and the greatest of all the apostles is launched. The Bible is full of such counterintuitive direction from God. Would you counsel a father to sacrifice his only child, the only hope for the promised nation? Certainly, it wasn’t wisdom that compelled a fugitive to walk back into the country where he was wanted for murder, a land where all his kin were held as slaves, march into Pharaoh’s palace and demand their release. Was it reasonable to take a fortified city by marching around it blowing trumpets? What’s the sense of slashing the ranks of your army from 32,000 to 300, just before battle? It was dangerous advice, indeed, to send the young maiden before her king unbidden, and even worse to send a boy against a trained mercenary. And frankly, it looked like perfect madness for Jesus to give himself up to the authorities, let himself get killed."

So... I'm still trying to learn the "wisdom AND revelation" part of trusting God. Right now, I believe God is saying to stay home ~ which of course doesn't mean do nothing and be lazy, but to pursue other things. So, I am staying ~ but I must confess, my knees are shaking a bit.

I appreciate your prayers and your comments.

Life and Death

2008-08-20T15:30:00.002-04:00

Here is a thought I read somewhere the other day: Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Wow. That made me stop and think. Does this stir any thoughts or feelings in you? It made me think about how easy it is to let your "comfort zone" dictate who you are willing to talk to and who you are not, or where you will go and where you won't, or whether to ask your boss for a promotion or a raise, or speak the truth into a friend's life who may be struggling in some way. The purpose of life is about so much more than our comfort, don't you think. We should be stretching ourselves, following the Holy Spirit wherever He may be leading, not worrying so much about personal comfort. We should be willing to set God-size goals, goals that can only be reached with God's help. We need to be asking our Lord how He wants us to spend our time, even our rest. Do you unwind in front of a TV? Is that how He would want you to unwind after a long, hard day? Does spending an evening in front of the TV move you any closer to your goals, or does it just "comfortably" bring another day to an end? Are you learning, growing, becoming more intimate with the God you love? Are you striving so much for what the world values that you don't have the time or the energy to pursue God or His goals in your life? If you are, do you think that is by accident, or do you think the enemy of God has anything to do with that? Do you think this grieves God? Wow ~ heavy stuff. I told you that phrase at the beginning of this entry made me stop and think.

And that word "striving" ~ as I wrote that above, that, too, got me thinking. Is it bad to strive for worldly things, but good to strive for God? IS striving ever a good thing? I was recently praying and worrying over some family issues when God gave me a picture in my mind. The picture was of my infant granddaughter sleeping in my arms. And it occurred to me that she "strives" for nothing. She simply trusts. Is this what the scripture means when it says we are to come to Him as little children? My granddaughter does not worry whether her caregivers have forgotten about her needs, or whether she is safe in their arms, or what tomorrow may bring. She simply trusts. What does trusting God really mean? What does it really look like? What does God want it to look like?

These are just a few of my thoughts today. What are yours?

Healing those Wounds

2008-08-18T07:02:00.002-04:00

Here is a quote from Ransomed Heart ministries that I received in my e-mail this morning. It is good.

****If you wanted to learn how to heal the blind and you thought that following Christ around and watching how he did it would make things clear, you’d wind up pretty frustrated. He never does it the same way twice. He spits on one guy; for another, he spits on the ground and makes mud and puts that on his eyes. To a third he simply speaks, a fourth he touches, and for a fifth he kicks out a demon. There are no formulas with God. The way in which God heals our wound is a deeply personal process. He is a person and he insists on working personally. For some, it comes in a moment of divine touch. For others, it takes place over time and through the help of another, maybe several others. As Agnes Sanford says, “There are in many of us wounds so deep that only the mediation of someone else to whom we may ‘bare our grief ’ can heal us.”

So much healing took place in my life simply through my friendship with Brent. We were partners, but far more than that, we were friends. We spent hours together fly-fishing, backpacking, hanging out in pubs. Just spending time with a man I truly respected, a real man who loved and respected me—nothing heals quite like that. At first I feared that I was fooling him, that he’d see through it any day and drop me. But he didn’t, and what happened instead was validation. My heart knew that if a man I know is a man thinks I’m one, too, well then, maybe I am one after all. Remember—masculinity is bestowed by masculinity. But there have been other significant ways in which God has worked—times of healing prayer, times of grieving the wound and forgiving my father. Most of all, times of deep communion with God. The point is this: Healing never happens outside of intimacy with Christ. The healing of our wound flows out of our union with him.****

This is out of a book by John Eldredge called "Wild At Heart" which is a book for men or for those trying to figure out men. I have one husband, two sons, two brothers, and numerous male relatives, so it was a great book for me to read. I like the part about how God heals each of us differently, and sometimes heals the same person differently at different times. He is so intimately involved with each of us that he knows just what we need (better than we do) and just when we need it (better than we do) and just how it should be delivered (better than we do). Isn't that awesome! And once we start that healing journey with him, he keeps it going, never willing to let it drop until we have achieved our full healing. He allows us a few breaks now and then to catch our breath, but because he loves us so very much, he doesn't want to leave anything still festering beneath the surface. He is gentle but firm, loving but thorough, faithful, merciful, grace-full, compassionate, and very, very effective. My journey has been a long one (or so it seems to me) and at times I thought I can't do this, I won't survive, I'll lose my mind or I'll die, but my loving savior had me the whole time. Rewriting your core is not a simple task. You pretty much have to be "broken" down to your core in order to do that. That even sounds painful. But I can tell you now that it was worth it. I am not who I was before. I am brand new. And the new me enjoys so much more intimacy with Christ, and I have learned through that painful process to finally let go of my intense need to control, and just trust God. Not that he is finished with me yet. But wow ~ he has brought me so very far.

I'd love to hear your comments. And I thoroughly recommend any books by John Eldredge. Another good book is The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender. There is a workbook that goes with Allender's book which I also recommend.

Christian Love

2008-08-15T10:04:00.003-04:00

Question: When we show love to someone who is living in sin or has committed an obvious sin, are we condoning their sin? (Let me preface my remarks with this: I know that because of my abused background and the commitment I made with myself as a small child that I would never treat anyone else that way, I tend to lean heavily toward grace and I may get a bit out of balance in that direction. Balance is always the key, I think, even with grace, but "tough love" is a concept that completely escapes me.)

I am speaking of those who know right and wrong or some sense of it. I feel that what a person in sin needs to know is that their sin is not a reason to be unloved, or unaccepted ~ by me, by God, or by the church. (Now, I do know that there is such a thing as evil ~ there are evil people. And that is a different story. An evil person has a black heart, does what he does deliberately, with no thought of right or wrong, just twisted personal pleasure at someone else's expense. No conscience. No repentence. God may not have given up on them, but they scare me, so I try to stay away.) Most people don’t need people to shun them so they know they have sinned. They are very away of their sin, and they pretty much expect to be shunned in the church, and this ought NOT to be the case. It is so true that “they will know we are Christians by our LOVE,” and they will desire to know the Jesus we know. Not by our judgmental attitudes. Not by our well-placed words of reminder to let them know our disapproval.

Please permit me to tell you a story about when I got saved. My best friend at school invited me to a revival meeting at her church when I was 14. If you’ve heard anything about my testimony, you know that I was not a happy child, did not come from a good home at all. My extremely abusive stepfather had passed away recently. So I went to the revival and I was blown away by the message. I had never really heard about Jesus before. I had heard OF him, but not about his love or grace, or how he died for me… I started crying some time during the service, and by the time it was over I was sobbing my eyes out. Maybe you can imagine how love-starved I had been my entire life, so the words of God’s love were more than my young heart could stand. My friend offered to go to the altar with me as they played “Just As I Am.” When they prayed with me I continued crying, but it felt like an amazing weight had been lifted from me. I was more excited than I had ever been about anything. (I remember it all like it was yesterday.)

Over the next several weeks, I continued going to church with her and coming home all excited, telling my mom and my two brothers all about this Jesus. My mom had had an even worse life than my own, and as an adult had been married many times at this point. She had divorced the first several extremely abusive husbands, given up 3 children for adoption, was now trying to hang onto the 3 kids she currently had, and had just buried her latest abusive husband. My mom and both brothers agreed to come to church with me one Sunday, all three of them were picking up my excitement. They dressed up in the best they had and we all went off to church. I couldn’t wait to introduce my family to the church members and the pastor. Well, when the time came, every single one of them made sure my mom and my brothers (1960s rebellious long-haired boys) knew that they didn’t “condone” their lifestyles. I couldn’t believe it. I cried all the way home. I never did get my brothers back to church after that. After several weeks I did get my mom to come to church with me one more time. The reception was the same. She never came back again. A few years ago, shortly before my mom died, she let me know that she had accepted Jesus into her heart. Those were 3 souls that were ripe for the harvest that Sunday years ago, and I believe Satan used GOD’S PEOPLE to place a major stumbling block in their paths. The picture of my mother’s face that first morning in church will stay with me forever. She already knew shame, she already felt unloved and unlovable ~ she really didn’t need to be reminded of any of it. This picture always comes back to me when I am tempted to be unloving toward another sinner. Generations of family history could have been broken that Sunday morning. Who knows how things might have been different had God’s people LOVED my family that morning, and introduced them to the God who, “because of his great love for us…made us alive with Christ even when we were DEAD IN TRANSGRESSIONS.” God ~ who is rich in mercy!!

None of us are perfect. But most of us are doing the best we can under whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. We as Christians are instructed by God only to LOVE the unlovely, the sinner. Love them into the church. Not by “condoning” their sin, but by showing them that “while they were yet sinners, Christ died for them.” They are not unlovely, unlovable, untouchable, unacceptable, shameful, or trash. They are sinners who need to know they can be saved by Grace. They need to know of God's great mercy, forgiveness, faithfulness, unending and unconditional love. And they are very precious to my Savior, who even now is interceding on their behalf at the right hand of God Almighty.

When we reach out as missionaries, are we condoning sin? When we invite our neighbors to church or show kindness to a stranger, are we condoning sin? When we give out groceries from the pantry, or help a new mom with baby formula and diapers…? When we tell someone Jesus loves them just as they are…? There is a quote in a book we have been studying in Sunday school from “Philo of Alexandria.” It says “Be kind, for everyone you know is facing a great battle.” I find this very helpful in reminding me to be compassionate to all people at all times ~ we have no idea what each person is going through or struggling with, or how God himself may be dealing with them. But we can always be kind and encouraging ~ I try to be the one who “makes their day.” There is too much else out there that adds to our struggles.

I would truly love to hear feedback. I know there is right and wrong. I guess I just feel it is God's right to deal with those areas of our lives after we have come to Him. It is not my place to play the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others, Christian or not, and try to convict them of their sin. That is not to say that loving everyone is easy for me ~ far from it. (And some are harder than others, as you can imagine from what you know of my background.) Nor am I one who NEVER judges. I have not arrived at perfection, nor will I this side of heaven. These are just my thoughts.

Losing Weight

2008-08-14T15:10:00.002-04:00

OMGosh! I have been sooooo frustrated trying to lose weight. I have been desperate enough that I have tried many different things, including some that sound pretty crazy. I feel I must lose weight as my BP and cholesterol are very high. I take 2 BP medications which are keeping it in control, although doctors have told me that the meds only control the symptom of the elevated BP ~ but the condition that CAUSES the high BP still rages on, damaging blood vessels and internal organs. At my last physical they told me that my cholesterol numbers were the worst they had ever seen, and some were so high that they couldn't be calculated (whatever that means). So............ the weight loss dilemma. Oh yeah, and they tried cholesterol lowering meds and it turns out my body won't tolerate them.

I am happy to report that I have finally lost almost 3 pounds in the last 2 weeks. That doesn't sound like much, does it? But with every previous attempt I have bounced up and down 1-2 pounds, never losing more than 2, but bouncing up again. Finally my holistic chiropractor suggested I stay completely away from wheat for a while to see if that had any impact. What actually made him suggest it was my recurring plantar fasciitus (I know this is misspelled but you know, inflamation of the plantar fascia on the bottom of the foot). He said that for those whose digestive systems don't process wheat products effectively, the waste products produced often settle in the joints and the bottoms of the feet. Well I tried it, and my joints and feet are remarkably improved, and I have finally lost more than 2 pounds without bouncing up. I am optimistic about the future of my weight loss and overall health. So if you have similar issues, give it a try.

Women's Makeup

2008-08-13T15:01:00.002-04:00

OMGosh! I LOVE makeup. I love trying new colors and techniques. Being blond, blue eyed, and fairskinned myself, not many dramatic looks work for me, but I love seeing them and learning the how-tos. I found the most fascinating YouTube video on makeup application. You have to check it out. Go to http://www.youtube.com/panacea81. I think you'll really enjoy it. What are you waiting for?

National Healthcare

2008-08-13T12:25:00.002-04:00

I have a 21 yo son who currently is living at home. He was having a severe pain in his lower right side about 3 weeks ago, and 2 nurse friends told us it could be anything from constipation to something very serious, and advised him to see a doctor. Since he is not covered on our health insurance and he was too new on his job to be covered there, I told him to go to the local clinic for low income folks to save $$. Well, when he got home he shared his frustration and confusion. He said the doctor he saw mumbled so badly that he couldn't understand most of what he said and had to keep asking him to repeat himself. The only question the doctor asked him was if he was constipated. Son said no. Doctor mumbled that he had no idea what it might be, go home and take some ibuprofin and see if it goes away. My sone could not believe this and felt he had wasted his time. He went out to the front office and she said he owed $15 today and needed to fill out paperwork for government insurance. If he didn't file for the government insurance he would owe $185. My son thought he had misunderstood her so he asked her to repeat. She just said he needed to pay $15. So he did. A few days later a letter came in the mail stating that he must turn in the paperwork for the government insurance or pay the full office visit fee of $185! WHO charges $185 for an office visit?!! The only conclusion I can come up with is this: Those who get paid by government subsidy, that's who. AKA National Health Insurance! Doctors who are unqualified (go home and take ibuprofen and see if it goes away?!?!), who don't care (mumbles so he can't be understood), and overpriced beyond belief! What would National Healthcare do to the US? Can you spell bankruptcy? Can you spell long wait to get in? Can you spell incompetency? Can you spell DISASTER? Name one thing the government has taken on from the public sector and done better. Yeah, I can't either. What are people thinking? (By the way, think of the money he could have saved if he went to our family doctor ~ the best doctor in town ~ who gets you in with little wait, takes the time to thoroughly examine you, speaks clearly, is extremely knowledgable, and only charges $75 for an office visit.) OH MY GOODNESS! Can we stop the madness?!?!

Athletes

2008-08-07T12:48:00.002-04:00

What is going on with athletes these days? Why are they coming back after retirement to make fools of themselves? I can only assume it is their oversized ego. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I can't see anything else at this point. Brett Favre, what were you THINKING? A reminder of the fiasco of Michael Jordon's "comeback." I hate to be the one to break it to you, boys, but we do grow older, and our bodies just can't do what they once could do. Why not go out gracefully, with some dignity, allowing your fans to love you and remember you in your glory days? Brett, you have forever dropped to the very bottom of my list of good athletes. Not that you were ever all that high on the list as you have pulled many "ego stunts" before. But this takes the case.

For a real athlete, look at Josh Hamilton. He has more than talent in his list of attributes. Go to http://www.myflr.org/Blog.asp?PID=1138 and see what I mean. Ego is not the first thing you will notice about him. I am impressed. There are many other talented athletes who have learned the truth as well.

And I don't know a lot about Brett's replacement with the Packers, yet, but I must say I have been impressed so far at how he has handled the mishandling of the Favre issue by all those involved.

Big Government

2008-08-07T11:47:00.003-04:00

Smaller, more honest government. On day one of the new presidency, I think the most important issue facing the new president is something other than the war in Iraq or global warming. I think he should begin taking really serious steps to decrease the size and scope of US government, and do away with corruption in politics (which of course would mean taking a long, hard, honest look at himself, whichever one is elected). I believe that if this foundational change was made, a great deal of the other issues would take care of themselves. So much of the government chaos and confusion is due to all the political posturing, everyone for themselves and no one for the good of the nation, and always more taxes so we can increase the size of a fiscally inefficient and irresponsible government instead of honestly evaluating what is working and what is not & cutting what is not before trying something new. Ask the experts who have nothing to gain politically by their answer, and they will tell you that fixing this would take care of most of the other ills of our nation and world - including global warming.

I don't believe this is overly optimistic or "Polyanna" thinking. Seriously. If the new president REALLY cared about America and the world, it has to begin with sincere HONESTY. Really, does anyone believe even half of what they hear out of a politician's mouth? They have a reputation, and for good reason.

And how does it make sense for a nation with the deficit we have to have huge $$ amounts earmarked for projects where it isn't needed, but that money can't be touched for any other project because it IS earmarked. Insanity. They robbed the SS fund for the General Fund, but they can't take from OTHER funds where it actually makes sense.

We see this here in Michigan where I believe I heard (not verified) that our economy as a state is the 2nd worst in the nation! Serious budget deficit, companies and jobs leaving the state in droves because of high taxes, citizens moving out in record numbers because of high costs and no jobs, but we have money set aside in the budget for projects where it isn't needed but can't be touched for anything else. So our politicians think the solution is to RAISE TAXES some more! Who will be left to pay them? How is it that people can get into positions of power with so little knowledge of economics and so little integrity or concern for the people they supposedly represent?

Am I wrong? I welcome your comments.

abuse survivor

2008-08-05T17:49:00.005-04:00

I am wondering how many women reading this have been abused during their childhood. It seems to be a pretty prevalent condition. Many of us are overweight, have low self esteem, or even abuse others because of the pain we carry inside. I tried to bury my childhood memories so deeply that no one would ever guess and I didn't have to think about them. But I found that even though they were buried, they still impacted my everyday life and decisions. It left me vulnerable to further abuse as an adult. I would like to know if anyone else has any comments on this or has a similar story and would like to share. I have found the light at the end of the tunnel. How about you?