Paula

I have been reading about the Paula Goodspeed suicide. You know, the one who auditioned on American Idol and was turned away. Goodspeed had been diagnosed with mental illness before she auditioned on the show. Apparently she had already been stalking Paula Abdul, had legally changed her first name from Sandra to Paula, had a personalized license place that referenced Paula Abdul, had Abdul's picture hanging from her rearview mirror, and tried to dress like her and imitate her style. I read that she had been sending disturbing letters and notes to Paula Abdul for almost 18 years before she ever auditioned on Idol. I also read that Paula Abdul, who begged the show's producers not to allow the audition, was shaking and terrified during the audition. And now Goodspeed's family wants to blame her suicide on Simon Cowell's rudeness during the show. Amazing. I am sorry for the tragic death of Paula Goodspeed. But it seems to me she was a ticking time-bomb that could have been triggered by anything. I didn't even think Simon's remarks were all that rude ~ he simply questioned how any performer could sing with "so much metal in her mouth." (Goodspeed wore braces.) If you listen to her interview before the audition, she could barely speak clearly, leaving you wondering how her singing would be. And it wasn't at all good. And as far as criticizing Simon Cowell for his "rudeness": a) the show is extremely popular not only to viewers but to aspiring singers, with Simon being the way Simon is; b) those who have seen the show and know themselves to be "sensitive" to criticism should avoid auditioning in the first place (I know I'm too sensitive to ever give it a try, and so I don't); c) I didn't think Simon's comments were that harsh ~ he could have been saying that without the braces she might have a chance so try again at a later date; and d)as I said before, she was already so troubled that if she hadn't been set off by the show it would have been something else. I pray for her family, I pray for Paula Abdul who I believe is also suffering in all of this, but I do not believe Simon or anyone else is to blame. Please, please, please let's stop always trying to blame someone when something happens. Life happens, life owes us NOTHING, life can be hard, and it can be tragic (believe me, I know), but life is what it is, and no one "deserves" better, or "deserves" a break, or "deserves" to have it easier ~ life just is what it is on this earth. If we want more inner peace as we experience life as it is, there is only one source for that kind of peace, and it isn't having more money, or suing someone for more money, or gaining fame through whatever means so you can get more money ~ seriously, it is ONLY possible with a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as your savior. The peace He gives comes from Himself, who loves you and never changes, and His peace is dependent ONLY on Him and not on your outward circumstances. And what He gives He gives because of His great love, NOT because any of us "deserve" it. My heart breaks for those who experience tragedy, such as the family of Paula Goodspeed, and I will continue to pray for them as they have to face each day without the one they love. But I do hope they will stop trying to find someone to blame. It won't help them deal with their loss.