God is Soooooo Good!

God's love and support for me blows me away. Who am I that He is mindful of me? Growing up, I was convinced that I was a "throw away person." That is a notion that I have had to work very hard to get rid of, over many years. And in some ways it still comes back, maybe in more subtle ways, more quiet ways. Like the way I seem to sabotage myself at times. I'll go on a diet and do great for a while, then I really blow it ~ I don't just go off it, I go crazy. What's that all about?! I think it goes back to that old message. I do this kind of thing with lots of things, not just diets. Anyhow, I'm still in the "process," still on my healing "journey."

But the thing is ~ the blessings I have received, the ways in which I have been privileged to experience God in my life, have blown me away. To rewrite all those messages I received as a kid is a task that only God could accomplish. And why would He care to put all that time and effort into me? Seriously. Well, I can't answer the why. I can only testify that He has. He lets me know in so many ways every day that He is with me, that He loves me, that He will never give up on me, that He not only loves me, but that He likes me, He chose me, He cares. 

I could have followed in the "family tradition" that went on for generations. I could have followed my mom's example and married and divorced one abuser after another. My life right now could be very ugly. But instead...

I am married to a wonderful man, who blesses me with his love and patience every day. I am surrounded by friends who have stood by me through some tough times. Friends I finally let in far enough that they got to know the real me, they got to know my story. And they stayed! They not only stayed, but in knowing each other more deeply, we also love each other more deeply. Who woulda thought? Why did I waste all that time and energy wearing a mask and trying to hide, keeping everyone at a safe distance? This is so much better.

So ~ God has blessed me with His love and all that entails, He blessed me with a wonderful husband, He blessed me with an amazing group of friends, He has continued patiently rewriting all those lies that were engraved on my heart, the list goes on and on.

God is so good. Sooooooooooo good! And today I am feeling especially grateful.