Honesty, Humility, and Friendship

Well, I had an old lesson reinforced the last couple of days. Friendship is a very precious thing. It is worth fighting for. Lasting friendship takes work, but it is well worth the effort. Even the closest of friends are going to have differences, or times they get under each other's skins, even times they get so angry they don't like each other very much. But if we let that be the end, the enemy wins. 

I have had to learn over the last few years to be angry, believe it or not. My childhood was such that anger was an emotion I cut off and separated myself from for survival. And when I learned that anger can be a good thing (what a shock that was), I tried to let it in, but I was afraid it would choke me, overwhelm me, take over. It didn't. But I still keep a wary eye on it. 

Anyhow, what I have learned about friendship is this: it always pays to be (tenderly) honest; anger can be a good thing; issues should always be dealt with pretty quickly; and a little (or a lot) of humility goes a very looooooong way. Never make decisions while you are angry. Anger taints everything.

When I get hurt or angry, I have a tendency to see everything from only my point of view. I feel it is so unfair, so unjust, my motives were so pure, the other person is behaving out of line. But I have found, for me, that it is best to sort of step back, take a deep breath, and humbly ask God to show me what my part in the fracture is, and what He would want me to do at this point. 

God usually tenderly, but firmly, shows me how I am not as innocent as I would like to believe. And so far He always asks me to take the first step in mending the broken relationship. Usually I find that, after honest discussion with soft voices, issues are not only worked out, but the friendship grows stronger than ever before.

When this happens, everybody wins. Well... everybody except the devil. He loses. Big time! Unity is restored, fellowship is rich, and a rift in the body of Christ is healed. Yes ~ friendships are worth working on and fighting for ~ even when it forces us to take a hard look at ourselves and swallow a large dose of humility.

By God's oh-so-amazing grace!

Rewritten Princess